ciar

Hi again journal,

Today is sweetest day and it really sucks. I went to the club the night before and met Adam there. He was supposed to come and spend some time with me seeing how it is sweetest day. Do you think he came NO. He didnt show up at all he just stood me up basically. I know he likes to hang out with his friends but damn could he at least try to make his damn girlfriend a priority. I cant believe his friends and after parties are more imfuckingportant than me. WTF I would never do that to him but do I get the same consideration HELL NO He didnt even have the decency to tell me happy sweetest day until I said someting to him. He didnt even know it was sweetest day. What kida shyt is that??? Whatever Im too pissed to even do this TTYL


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Yesterday we went to Chain apos;O Lakes State Park and it was absolutely beautiful going for a nature walk on the trails there.� This was the positive of the day after missing out on the Trail of History at Glacial Park...so many lovely, golden trees. *^^*

We also went to Woodmanapos;s because we were in the area last night and stocked up on lots of groceries.� I started getting the supplies for my new natural cleansers (vinegar, borax, baking soda, Dr. Bronnerapos;s Liquid Tea-Tree Castile Soap) and Iapos;m looking forward to mixing up testing out.� Iapos;m all about bringing in more positive, cleansing, chemical-free�energy to the apartment to have a more "magickal household."� Finally putting the dead plants to rest has been a part of the process as well...Chrisapos;s mom was absolutely lovely and gave us a new plant� A pretty, ivy-looking thing that Chris named Jessica.� Cute.� Now I just want some Aloe, Bamboo, a Cacti or two...

Tonight is Heroes yummy stir fry

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Right now, I ffeel better than I have for nearly a week.

I would like to extend a huge vote of thanks to the pharmaceutical industry, and to my GP, for giving me access to meratndol forte. Equal thanks to the Othipaedic Physiotherapists at St Vincentapos;s Hospital, to Bill the Masseur, and to Crusher who all in their various ways help mobilize stabilize my body.

I am lying on the sofa, and Iapos;m not in pain. I only realized how much pain I was in last night, when it took a 2nd tab to get me settled for sleep. Itapos;s been a grinding pAin throughout my R side. Now itapos;s gone - as long as I keep the pain meds up. You betcha.

My inability to recognize pain until it goes away actually scares me. I wonder why I feel dazed confused tired cranky cold all the time nauseated. Then someone like my shrink says, "Hmmmm maybe chronic pain? Take a pill see". Maybe thatapos;s why I get migraine? apos;Cause I canapos;t always tell when Iapos;m overloading my circuitry?

So right now Iapos;m grateful almost weepy looking forward to a long refreshing sleep tonight.

I wish all of you a wonderful evening also. Do something nice for yourself really notice what it feels like.

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Sproutapos;s black denim house dress is nearly done. I need to hem it and put some decorative buttons on the cuffs and thatapos;s all it requires. But.. It sure looks boring So Iapos;m thinking maybe after halloween, a friend with an embroidery machine (one that isnapos;t as intimidating as the huge multi-thread walk-away-and-it-stitches-pictures-for-you things another friend has) will set me up to do some leafy bits around the neckline and maybe across the bust seam. Kinda hard to decorate something like this. But... It will really need to go in the dryer with a dryer sheet first man, this thing isnapos;t even on a dress form and it just sucks cat hair and lint out of the air It lives folded up on a box and it still looks like the cats have been playing in it. Geez.

Iapos;ve started the mockup for my labcoat. Interesting: I cut it to a size 1x for the top half and the 2x for the lower half (Iapos;m a touch pear shaped these days, hopefully my lower half will catch down to my upper). I tried it on, and the thing seemed huge Then I tried it on over the garment Iapos;ll be wearing it over, and itapos;s not huge anymore. But the front panels have these odd swoopy pulls to them, so I suspect I need to split the side seams and see how much it falls open to look right, and add that much into the front panels. Iapos;m also tweaking the sleeves and they havenapos;t come out the way I want yet.

And Iapos;m trying to make some money sewing for other people. (Warning Will Robinson. Danger ahead). Geez. Iapos;ve got this one lady who works out with me on Fridays. She wants me to make her a halloween costume. Now, because of her shape she likes to wear baby-doll style tops of cotton jersey - over pants. Ok, fine. First she wants a pilgrim costume.. But in baby-doll. I looked perpelexed and concerned because that fashion just doesnapos;t work with an empire waist. So she huffed and then changed her mind to wanting an angel costume - baby-doll style. With elbow length sleeves and a flounce. And a ruffle at the bottom. In white. Or maybe purple (but not a dark purple ) - because purple is so recognizable as an angel????? And she wants it in fabric like her tops. Or maybe sweatshirt fleece cause she might be cold. Uh-huh. So I found some Roma cotton at Joannapos;s and used my coupon (basically, turtle-neck weight jersey) in white. Might have considered a very pale lavender but there wasnapos;t any.

Oh and she wants me to make her some apos;uniformsapos; so she can look professional giving lectures (sheapos;s a nurse who does colonics). She keeps saying she wants me to make her some jumpers. Out of corduroy. In Purple - maybe with flowers like a Laura Ashley print. Finally got out of her that she doesnapos;t want a apos;jumperapos;, she wants a jumpsuit in purple corduroy, with lots of pockets.. Because she feels this makes her look professional. Um... Do I have whiplash yet? I just keep reminding myself that if that what she feels and wants, itapos;s just my job to sew the stuff, not critique it.

I think Iapos;d rather work on my labcoat. Got another coat project I want to buy fabric for (in corduroy even) but more on that later.
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My first DWP story is coming along, slowly but surely.� I had a whole week of writerapos;s block but, thankfully, the muses are clacking away again.� When theyapos;re not giving me ideas for the story Iapos;m currently working on, theyapos;re giving me prompts for new projects.� Iapos;m going to be selfish and keep those prompts to myself for now, but if it gets to a point when Iapos;m certain that I wonapos;t be able to write a story for all of them, Iapos;ll share

PS- Iapos;m really tempted to post a little apos;teaserapos; for my first story, but Iapos;d hate to get anyone excited only to have my muses go silent again.� Iapos;ll keep pondering this...

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someone texted me some sort of poem thing.:

. passion is the enemy of the routine.�They see their girlfriends every day, lucky them, they win But iapos;ve got something potent theyapos;lll never know� until they break up next week: yearning, hope, motivation.
Love.

..............

Less passion in lieu of reality, but make it up and substitute sleep for sanguineous verbal stimulation.�What the days feel like. Two weeks till election or two months until Anne? How i measured my time then and now, respectively. Iapos;d like to mash some apple sauce and jam for you, but we just donapos;t have those kind of trees. But weapos;re orange and very real here all the same. Explanations are usually fun, if my friends humor me and listen to a story about a girl that seems more like an ido or an activist than the oh-so-convenient girlfirend of the self appointed most political kid in school. Who just happned to come about just while every other
peer was eyeing a cute sophomore: low matainance.�"Really? Can she send over some cheese? Oh. Thatapos;s right, she doesnapos;t have a myspace, does she? What a coincidence. Too bad. Good luck though." So now,even he can be part of the guild, I guess.

�
I can text some-sort-of-poem-things too.

Do you just want to comandeer the upholstered yellow submarine and direct it twoard wisconsin? And then itapos;d be like shooting a stting duck, a little small talk and baby, iapos;d be stuck like peanutbutter. And thereapos;d be some sick music in the background with fireworks and bins of cuddly puppies and gravy boats and rollercoasters and yellow and oranges and finally a torrent of sleep in the octopusapos;s garden by the sea.�Stars sudeenly cquiet: the truth shines, unspoke by the night watchman eyeing the exotic green hippolyta in the embrace of orange warm love texas windmill goodness.�Taming a mockingbird. You think we should let them into the guild? They seem content together - maybe they donapos;t need our guild.

Iapos;m kinda thinking I like Rickyapos;s better. More original, less song lyrics. How can I�go from Abba to Lennon? how does that work??


annnnnnd I think I need a story. Somehow make a story out of this. I might. Relationship stories donapos;t last though. So I might not.


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I think Earl pretends to be happy about the mug collection for my sake.
And I cherish him for it.
Cause at the end of the day, I LOVE that collection.

So yesterday ended well.

After all the disappointments and then finally the good packages that were waiting for me at home... I started writing.

Writing used to be a passion for me. Passion to say the least. Short stories, long stories, plays, essays, you name it I used to be excited about it. And then one day after I picked up and moved out of state the imagination along with the free time went away. So its really been the better part of 5 years since Iapos;ve written anything other then lj and the occasional report for work. I simply didnapos;t think it was part of me. The same way that painting seemed to have slipped away a few years ago.

So I am proud and relieved to announce that I am again a writer. Perhaps my writing isnapos;t as creative. In fact right now it is just factual. But it felt so good. I wrote for over 2 hours yesterday. And while I donapos;t think that today will afford me the luxury of writing... Iapos;m keeping a notebook with me just incase.

Off to start my day. Laundry. Cleaning. Shower. Tidying. Dinner for Earlapos;s family, and then the Halloween parade. Where Emma has been uninvited. :-( I told her she can come to the tree lighting at Christmas. Infact I will buy her a new sweater to boast since I feel bad.

:-)
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